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BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL



People tell me that I was born very fair. I don’t know what happened in between. My “twacha” got tanned too much while I played cricket all day and went on many fishing trips with Dad. We didn’t have anti-tan lotions or UV blocks with SPF varying with glare of the sun. We had pure “Sarson ka tel”.

In winters our skin used to go white, I would rather say flaky in some ways. The only way to cover it was to have well oiled legs. To save time, distance from the end of the shorts and start of the socks used to be oiled. The elbows and knees always remained problematic. No one bothered in the playfield as there was no one watching your legs.

During our School Annual day celebrations we used to have this sound and light show. Boys used to line up in our house for makeup. Mom used to give them a lotion called Lacto Calamine which students used to rub on their faces for fairness followed by foundation. Then she used to dab them with face powder. All “Kalus” like me used to start looking white. We used to have Macbeth and Mutiny scenes, so the British Saab had to look like a Gora Saab. I could never get that role as how hard she tried all those powders and creams never stuck to my face.

I used to be thrilled because I used to get those round compact powder cases after they had been used. They used to have mirrors inside and I used to make periscopes and kaleidoscopes using mom’s broken bangles.

I remember as we went to senior school a “VICCO Turmeric Cream” came into existence. Before that I used to quietly use mom’s “Afgan Snow” face cream and a powder called “Cuticura”. The snow from Afgan never changed my complexion and the cute in the cuticura never “cutified” me. I used to love that ayurvedic cream because of the sandal wood smell; the only thing I disliked was that cream was yellow in colour. The more I used to rub it, my complexion used to turn purple. I used it for a few years then got back to mustard oil. Coconut oil was a rare treat for Kale ghane aur sunder baal.

Mom used to knead a special kind of slushy atta, yellowish in colour and rub it all over us. Was it Besan or Makki, I couldn’t make the difference? She then left us to dry till it used to start peeling off.  Then we used to get a hot water bath especially before Christmas. What a waste of besan, I could have had so many pakoras instead.

My skin colour helped me a lot in NDA. I got lots of lift from all those people who came from below the tropic of Cancer. Now when people ask me, where are you from? If I am meeting that person for the first time, I give him five guesses. Actually my name and colour is deceptive. People start from Kerala and come up to Goa. Then my moustache adds to the confusion. Finally, when I reveal it to them, they say Oh! They could have never guessed.

Be that as it may, while we were deployed in the valley, once the CSD canteen NCO came up with a long bill. I said I never used all these fairness creams in all my life. He said sir your buddy came and took all this on credit. I got cheesed off. I asked him what the buddy said. He said Kale Saab had asked for them, so I wrote your name. I initially blew my lid but then understood that “Kanchas” are very sweet people. It happened so that my Ex buddy was now with one Maj Kale who had just got posted in. The CSD NCO was not aware and kept writing things in my name as he thought the most kale wale saab in the unit was me. It was later that I met Maj Kale who was seventeen shades darker than me. What a laugh we had! He can’t refute it as his name is kale and he can’t feel bad as he is tall, dark and most handsome as per many girls.

As a kid I used to feel bad if someone called me Kalu.  I tried changing my complexion by rubbing anything and everything available on mom’s dressing table but in vain. Then I heard this song called “hum kale hain to kya hua dilwale hain”. Colour of the skin doesn’t matter actually; it is the warmth in your heart which matters. When will we leave our obsession of the fair skin? I wonder!!!!!!!!

JAI HIND
© Noel Ellis

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