Skip to main content

NASTY WASPS

 NASTY WASPS

 

LT COL NOEL ELLIS

 

14/XI/2022

 

I got a little late for my morning walk. The sun was still gliding up beyond the horizon but had spread enough light to say the sky would be blue, bright, and clear today. I looked up and thanked the maker for his bounties.

 

As I was passing a row of ‘Ficus’ trees growing along the lane road, some trees had grown over twenty feet and some were still dwarfs. They are surviving in this harsh weather is most important.

 

With ‘Lamba saans’ filling my chest with the pure, fresh, and chilled air of the morning, I put my neck up, when I noticed something quite unusual. Till a few days back there was only one hornet’s nest. Now there were seven massive sized nests. To put them in perspective, as big as a jackfruit. There would be thousands and thousands of those yellow wasps thriving in them.

 

That led me to think about their increased activity on my water lily containers over the last couple of days. Their frequency of visits and numbers had substantially increased. They must be building an empire of sorts.

 

A couple of days back I heard our budding colony footballers discuss “Shahad ki Makhi ka chatta.’ They had thrown a stone and hit the wasp nests to collect honey. A few children who continued playing in the lawns got stung nastily.

 

Stings were my fear, when I found these wasps trying to muster our pot stand. I asked one of them, what are you doing here? She said they were looking for a place to establish a new nest. I warned them to buzz off, before I came with my ‘weapons of wasp destruction.’ To which they didn’t pay heed. A couple of them came towards me doing buzz-buzz-buzz. I stood still, lest I offend them.

 

Then, one came very close to my face. I was prepared to get stung. Good sense prevailed and it backed off. It was a warning to me to stay away or else be prepared for the consequences. Something like the Naga militants used to do. They gave a fair warning before conducting their deadly ambushes.

 

Which reminded me of ‘Uncle Chuba’ whom we met in Dimapur. He was our friend, philosopher, and guide for our Nagaland trip. He took us for a Kohima & Khonoma tour many years ago. On the way he told the driver to halt suddenly. We thought it must be an urgent call of nature but it was something else instead.

 

Two Naga’s were sitting by the road with something wrapped in leaves. Inquisitiveness got the better of me. I too got out of the car to see what Uncle Chuba was so excited about. He took time to haggle for the price which was delaying our move to our destination.

 

What are you buying Uncle Chuba, I asked? Wasp nests, he said. He paid two hundred bucks for the small one about six inches diameter and three hundred for the second one double its size. To tell whether they were fresh or not he pulled out a ‘wasp larva’ from the nest and slurped it, then gave me one to taste. Yuck, I said.  ‘Bahut Taza hai,’ said he, aur khatta-khatta bhi. In the evening join us for dinner, he said. We would prepare a delicacy with bamboo shoots and wasp larva. I started thinking of excuses to avoid him for dinner.

 

Be that as it may. I told these wasps here, that if you guys don’t leave, I shall call Chuba Uncle, who would eat you alive. Wasps did not pay heed to my warning at all.

 

Why are you multiplying in such numbers, I asked them? ‘More the merrier,’ they said. Then why don’t you stick to your traditional nests you already have rather than roaming around issuing threats to us. I have been decent enough to allow you to take water freely and still. Have you guys been thrown out of your tribe, I asked? They looked at me in bewilderment and continued with their recce.

 

Don’t you guys use protection? To which they laughed and told me to stop asking silly questions, before they give me the taste of their sting.

 

An innovative idea came to my mind when they refused to listen to my request. There was a bottle of ‘hand sanitizer’ with a powerful ‘atomiser’ lying at the window sill. I picked it up and gave them a nice spray. They didn’t like it at all, rather got blinded and hit the wall as if someone had blindfolded their eyes. I sprayed a little extra, where they had marked to start the new nest. Within seconds that team scooted and I breathed a sigh of relief.

 

Will those nasty wasps return? I wonder!!!!!!!!!

 

JAI HIND

© NOEL ELLIS

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

FINGER ON YOUR LIPS

  LT COL NOEL ELLIS   29/IV/2025   What has happened to Pakistan? While India is doing Fauji Exercises, Pakistan has mobilised for what! I agree that the people of India want revenge. But, from whom? Our PM has only said that “we will not leave the terrorists and their supporters till the end of the Earth”. He has never said he will sort out Pakistan, or has he?   It has been hilarious watching discussions on Paki social media channels. They seem to have already given up. Our RM meets the PM and Pakistan starts shitting bricks. They talk about jazba and gazwa, and start telling us about their nuclear arsenal. 160 I suppose. By the way we will send across one equivalent to your 160 if need be.   There is a saying, ‘Chor ki Dari main tinka” literal meaning is, a straw in a thief’s beard. However, the deep meaning is that a guilty person reveals his guilt through his behaviour, even unintentionally. Clearly, “a guilty conscious needs no accuser”...

SCENE AT ELLIS’ RESTAURANT

    LT COL NOEL ELLIS   04/XI/2024   Every morning the scene in the Ellis’ restaurant is so refreshing. The notes birds sing sounds like ‘reveille’ being sounded by the buglers. The ‘scenario’ keeps varying with arrival of different birds at different timings.   It is like being a restaurant owner, working solo with minimum help. Yours truly is the waiter, housekeeper, cook, receptionist, barman, purchase manager, accountant, and storekeeper of this shack. Imagine!   Foremost thing in the morning is housekeeping of the garden area, followed by watering the pots. This gives the plants a nice bath, like kids being readied for school.   The first set of ‘clients’ called the ‘Tailor Birds’ appear. They love to hunt for insects which get disturbed by the watering ritual. They sing and dance, hop and skip and carry on chasing moths and worms, without bothering about my presence.   By then the Bulbuls and the Sparrows start lini...

IF THERE IS A WAR…...

    LT COL NOEL ELLIS   28/IV/2025   I remember the 1971 war as a small child. We were in Kapurthala Punjab, very close to the Pakistan border. It was an evening in December, I do not remember the exact date. While returning from a friends house, the declaration of war was done as I skipped along the ‘Thandi Sarak’ of Kapurthala.   The gist was that a vehicle with loud speakers was telling people to head home as an "emergency" had been declared and war had started. I ran as fast as I could, shivering with fear and my heart beating unusually fast. Though I was a lap baby when the 1965 war had taken place, it appeared serious business now.   Overnight, Dad and other Uncles started digging trenches infront of our homes. Carbon paper was no dearth in a teachers house, so mom got into an overdrive to stick them to the glass windows. Though the glass had been painted during the 1965 war, some broken panes had been replaced. Mom told ...