Skip to main content

WHAT A RELIEF

 

WHAT A RELIEF

 

LT COL NOEL ELLIS

 

27/II/2023

 

It was such a difficult day yesterday and the day before. It wasn’t work tension. Bijli-Paani was there. Sabji-Bhaji came to the door step. Guppies and mollies were fine. Many hibiscuses bloomed. Road was swept. Bai came too. Then what could be the reason for the strain.

 

Till the afternoon everything was fine. We watched a serial on Netflix. As usual we went out for a walk, leaving behind our cell phones at home. One checked for missed calls and messages on return. There were none. Surprising!

 

As the night started to descend, there were still no messages on social media, which is quite usual. People those who wish you good morning at 8 pm also were silent. Evening turned to night, no messages still. Tension started to build up.

 

First question which comes to mind, Kya internet hai? My Vodafone number was showing all bars and 4G, while the Jio number was displaying the same with 5G. People must have got busy, was the second thought. All of them! Not possible. Something is wrong.

 

Net to hai par chal nahi raha hai. By dinner time people were on the streets. No one wished good evening but were asking…. Net Hai? Hamara to kal se band hai. BSNL broadband to mahine main bees din band rahta hai. Jio bhi nahi chal raha. Are bhai good evening to bol do. So, what net nahi hai, ki sirf whats app par hi wish karna hota hai, I said to myself.

 

Now the question arose, kab tak net band hai? No one had any clue. ‘Riot’ to nahi ho gaya Shahar main. That was one time when the net was switched off for two weeks here. Some wise man said, net must be under maintenance.  That sounded probable. How can internet be under maintenance for all the service providers together? Good question, said some one.

 

What must be my friends thinking? Kahin mar to nahi gaya sala? Koi message hi nahi bhej raha hai. There was no way to tell them hamara net band hai unless someone called, which is rare.

 

Now the people started asking, net kyon band hai? That sounded a logical question. On the second day we get a message from a service provider that from 6am to 6pm the net would not be available. Why? Kyon? Kis Liye? Aisa kaise kar sakte hai? Jab marji ho tab net band? Koi mazak hai kya? Main BSNL katwa dunga, main airtel ko port kara lungi and so on were the murmurs in the colony.

 

It was a ‘no cheating day’ actually. Some people cannot help but cheat. The baniya weighed less, so did the meat wala. The medicine man charged extra. Municipal officers are famous for it. Police I won’t utter a word. Who doesn’t cheat. We, the cheated know it but live with it.

 

Yesterday, it was exam time in Rajasthan. Many had been preparing for competitive exams like REET, which is an eligibility test for Sarkari Naukri pakki in the state government. Our city had a price to pay by being deprived of the umbilical cord to nirvana called the internet. Desh ki janta was feeling cheated.

 

Surprisingly, this exam had to be cancelled or postponed so many times because of mass scale cheating. The examination papers would leak and the solutions would be available on the net on a premium. For one exam, the whole city was in a tizzy. The government decided, na rahega baans na bajegi bansuri.

 

Electronic transactions were unavailable. Net banking didn’t work. These days one is not used to carrying a wallet due to so many payment portals. Even the thele wala accepts e payments.

 

The carpenter next door asked me, aap ro paas internet ro dabbo koni. I said no. Bindani ko message karno tho. I smiled. He was asking if I had a wifi router, to video chat with his wife in the village. Internet ka kamaal.

 

In the evening when it came, the whole city jumped up in the air shouting AA GAYAAAA, like we used to shout when electric current used to be restored after a power cut.

 

Suddenly everyone went indoors. We were lucky to meet people whom we had never seen in the colony. The only welcome sound was the ting-ting of the mobile phones.

 

Can our country live without the exam papers leaking and there after mass cheating and without internet? I wonder!!!!!!!!

 

JAI HIND & JAI INTERNET BABA RI

©® NOEL ELLIS

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

FINGER ON YOUR LIPS

  LT COL NOEL ELLIS   29/IV/2025   What has happened to Pakistan? While India is doing Fauji Exercises, Pakistan has mobilised for what! I agree that the people of India want revenge. But, from whom? Our PM has only said that “we will not leave the terrorists and their supporters till the end of the Earth”. He has never said he will sort out Pakistan, or has he?   It has been hilarious watching discussions on Paki social media channels. They seem to have already given up. Our RM meets the PM and Pakistan starts shitting bricks. They talk about jazba and gazwa, and start telling us about their nuclear arsenal. 160 I suppose. By the way we will send across one equivalent to your 160 if need be.   There is a saying, ‘Chor ki Dari main tinka” literal meaning is, a straw in a thief’s beard. However, the deep meaning is that a guilty person reveals his guilt through his behaviour, even unintentionally. Clearly, “a guilty conscious needs no accuser”...

SCENE AT ELLIS’ RESTAURANT

    LT COL NOEL ELLIS   04/XI/2024   Every morning the scene in the Ellis’ restaurant is so refreshing. The notes birds sing sounds like ‘reveille’ being sounded by the buglers. The ‘scenario’ keeps varying with arrival of different birds at different timings.   It is like being a restaurant owner, working solo with minimum help. Yours truly is the waiter, housekeeper, cook, receptionist, barman, purchase manager, accountant, and storekeeper of this shack. Imagine!   Foremost thing in the morning is housekeeping of the garden area, followed by watering the pots. This gives the plants a nice bath, like kids being readied for school.   The first set of ‘clients’ called the ‘Tailor Birds’ appear. They love to hunt for insects which get disturbed by the watering ritual. They sing and dance, hop and skip and carry on chasing moths and worms, without bothering about my presence.   By then the Bulbuls and the Sparrows start lini...

IF THERE IS A WAR…...

    LT COL NOEL ELLIS   28/IV/2025   I remember the 1971 war as a small child. We were in Kapurthala Punjab, very close to the Pakistan border. It was an evening in December, I do not remember the exact date. While returning from a friends house, the declaration of war was done as I skipped along the ‘Thandi Sarak’ of Kapurthala.   The gist was that a vehicle with loud speakers was telling people to head home as an "emergency" had been declared and war had started. I ran as fast as I could, shivering with fear and my heart beating unusually fast. Though I was a lap baby when the 1965 war had taken place, it appeared serious business now.   Overnight, Dad and other Uncles started digging trenches infront of our homes. Carbon paper was no dearth in a teachers house, so mom got into an overdrive to stick them to the glass windows. Though the glass had been painted during the 1965 war, some broken panes had been replaced. Mom told ...

A TRIBUTE TO INDIA’s FINANCIAL WIZARD

  LT COL NOEL ELLIS   27/XII/2024   Last night one heard a heart-breaking news of the passing away of Dr Manmohan Singh. A sardar with a big Dil and a sharp Dimag. My heartfelt condolences to the family and every citizen of India.   Let me share an anecdote of a chance encounter with his office three decades ago. It was in 1993-94, he was the then ‘Finance Minister’ of India.   The story goes that we were part of the "Ski-Himalaya Expedition". The expedition was preparing to traverse a 1500 km ski touring voyage from Karakoram Pass to the base of Mount Kailash in Nepal passing through the states of J&K, Himachal Pradesh and UP.   Those days, it was not easy to fund the expedition. We found a few sponsors. Let me confess, we were under the Army adventure cell for the preparations. The internal ‘red tapeism’ was killing us. Delays in procuring equipment due to the complex ‘Kagzi Karwai’ was taking too much time. Our window of skiin...

LOCUST WITHOUT A “L”

  LOCUST WITHOUT A “L”   LT COL NOEL ELLIS   14/IX/2024   They say if you wish for something with a noble heart, it gets fulfilled. Had I asked for the moon, I would have got it today. Was it a coincidence? I am not sure. To find out please read on.   A friend of mine had asked me about ‘good’ and ‘bad’ insects in a garden, on which I wrote an article. In that, I had mentioned a kind of grasshopper called the ‘Locust’. It is a bright yellowish green insect. It is sometimes seen in our garden. They create havoc if found in swarms, but one or two do not harm much.   After writing the article, I wished I had a photo of the Locust. Digging it out from the archives could add colour but that would have been time consuming.   Having posted the article, I walked out of the house to check on the blooms of the day. There was a large variety with vibrant colours gracing the garden. A treat to the eyes and soul.   Just then my eyes...

AN OPEN LETTER TO CM PUNJAB

An open letter to Mr Bhagwant Maan on this officer and his son being beaten up so brutally at Patiala. My sympathies with the family and I am sure justice will not be delayed or denied.   AN OPEN LETTER TO CM PUNJAB   LT COL NOEL ELLIS   22/III/2025   Maan jog Bhagwant Maan Saab. Main ek chota jeha sabak fauji haan. Aj majbbor hoke main aa chitti tunahu likh reha han, kyon ki dil andron dukhi hai. Tuhade thalle te tuhadi sarkar de which Patiala police ne jo kuj ek Serving Army de officer te os de munde naal kitta hai o sharmnaak hai ate darshonda hai ki aj di tareekh which Punjab police te tuhada koi control nahi hai. Aj takreeban dus din ho gaye han, te tussi Khamosh ho.   Police da kam sirf kuttapa chaarna hunda hai? Ja ke aam shahri waste eho jeha mahul paida karna ki banda safe feel kare. Bande nu bharosa hove ki haan mera koi mai baap hai. Lor pain te oh meri madad waaste aauga. Par lagda hai ke hun scene badal gaya hai.   Maa...

RUNNING TO TOWN

  LT COL NOEL ELLIS   24/IV/2024   As they say, “Jab geedar ki ‘maut’ ati hai woh Shahar ki taraf bhagta hai”. (When a jackal wants to die, it runs towards the town). It simply implies that when someone is in ‘deep trouble’, he takes certain wrong steps and gets into agony himself. It also means that if correct actions are not taken timely, then chances are things go wrong.   Another implication of this idiom is that when someone wants to ‘avoid trouble’, he choses a wrong path or when one faces difficult times, he goes looking for advice and solutions from wrong people and places, jeopardising his own existence.   Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this straight away applies to our troublesome neighbour Pakistan and specifically to the thought process and mindset of their Army Chief General Asim Munir, who revealed it in the lecture he gave to the overseas Pakistanis recently.   I say this in the context of the ‘massacre’ and ‘savagery’ these dastards did in Pahal...

A SPEECH

  LT COL NOEL ELLIS   19/IV/2025   Imagine when your “sir ka jhoomar becomes gale ki haddi”, then what happens. That was one Jumla I picked up from the Pak Army Chief’s speech which he delivered in Islamabad to Overseas Pakistanis. They are dual citizenship holders. Their ticket it appears had been paid by the state of Pakistan, I reckon.   An Army Chief addressing a gathering of people who at the very first instance decided to “Pakistan se Zinda Bhag” is uncalled for. If I read correctly between the lines, it was not to impress his countrymen but somehow convince the audience to remit dollars to ensure he and his ilk get their salaries, a plot of land on retirement and an assured pension. Rest of the countrymen can scavenge for all he cares.   Above all, the PM of Pakistan and his cabinet were in attendance. The Chief’s political ambitions were clear and his speech was a subtle message to them that the Army is ‘THE Mai Baap’, as he flexed the ...

IT IS CHRISTMAS TIME AGAIN

  IT IS CHRISTMAS TIME AGAIN   LT COL NOEL ELLIS   23/XII/2024   Christmas time is here. We waited all year for the ‘yule tide’ to come. Cold weather, celebrations, parties, carol singing, pot luck dinners, picnic, socialising, variety of winter flowers, Christmas trees, non veg preparations, baking Christmas cakes and Pakwans is synonymous to Christmas. Last but not the least we fondly remember the ones who have slept in the Lord.   The house looks Christmassy and smells Christmassy too. Buntings, decorations, lighting up the home, and decorating the Christmas tree is done. The Carol Singing party visited our home and sang with full josh.   Rejuvenating friendship, kinship, relationships, bonds, and ties is the essence of Christmas. Rekindling and remembering good old days and friends are part of the merry making. Festivities, feasting and gifting will extend well into the new year.   Our kitchen would be the hub centre of...