MYSTERY OF THE LOST NEWSPAPER

 

MYSTERY OF THE LOST NEWSPAPER

 

LT COL NOEL ELLIS

 

27/V/2022

 

It was after ages that we started subscribing to a newspaper. At least one appears to be well read if there is a newspaper at home, if nothing else. Primarily it all piles up as ‘raddi’ as there is so much else to read and watch.

 

The vernacular here is ‘Marwari’. Popular newspapers subscribed here are mostly Hindi. “Hindi main karya karne ki poori choot hone ke bawajood”, I prefer the language I followed all my life.

 

Be that as it may. Finding a vendor for an English Newspaper daily became an issue. On enquiring from the security guards of the colony, the first thing they asked was, thay nayo aye ho kaayi? I nodded. After a little discussion they gave a phone number of one vendor who could possibly help. A quick ring and he confirmed that he would be able to deliver one soon. How soon was not tomorrow but a couple of days, as he had to order it especially for us.

 

One week passed and a reminder didn’t ease the situation. Then one day he said he shall. D-Day arrived finally but there was no newspaper. One almost left the hope of getting one. Just to check, one rang up the newspaper chap. Kaan Singh Ji, akhbaar dalyo koni aaj. Kaiyn baat karo, subha ‘haade panch’ 5.30 bajo dalyo, pakkam pakko.

 

With his assurance we went out to trace it. In the driveway, in the parking, in the veranda, between the pots. That newspaper wasn’t there. Another ring, ghar number kaiyn ho aapro, he enquired. I said ‘ethahter’ (78), I said, hmm pechetter (75) main ghaal aya, he said. We reconfirmed our house number.

 

Next day there was no newspaper again. Now what happened? One felt like stopping the subscription. This time he apologised and said that he had delivered. We went out for a witch hunt again. It could not be found anywhere but one had to take his word.

 

One place which had been left was under the car. There it was, a well rolled up paper found its way down under. Probably it would have ‘ricocheted’ from the front door, being rolled up like a pipe, it tumbled under the car. One had to do a few bend-stretches to reach it. Finally, with the help of a stick we retrieved our first newspaper out from its hiding place. Aj milyo thara akhbaar, he confirmed? I gave him an affirmative and the nuances involved in retrieving it.

 

 

In between there were riots and we were expecting newspaper supply to be affected. The Internet had been blacked out for almost ten days. Not even on a single day did the newspaper stop. When the internet was restored, I opened “online raddi” to see if one had missed out on something. We were very well updated.

 

Thereafter the rhythm of delivery was set. As we opened our front door every morning, a newspaper was there to greet us. Its location would change, depending on where it was thrown or with what force it was chucked. Was it folded or was it rolled? All this depended upon the boy who came to deliver. Kaan Singh ji had a team of errand boys. He would appear himself only on the billing day.

 

A couple of days back, our newspaper went missing again. Now we knew what could go wrong. We checked every obvious nook and corner, the neighbour’s veranda and their neighbours but all in vain. Probably there might be an issue with the vendor, so we forgot about it. In case the newspaper could not be delivered on one particular day, the next day we found two, including one of the previous day. That too did not happen. A day without the paper did not matter in any case. 

 

This morning when I took my camera to shoot flowers & birds, one walked into the common lawn in front. Birds were frolicking in the ‘Old MacDonalds’ lawn. Here a click, there a click, everywhere a click-click, e-ya-e-ya-O, was the childhood poem which was reverberating in my mind.

 

A Bulbul came and sat on the pots hanging under our open garage. While aiming at it, something “rolled up” came into focus. I lost the bird but caught the newspaper alright. There it was on the garage roof and we were looking for it everywhere under the sun, less the open sky.

 

Mystery was solved as that day a new boy had been told to distribute newspapers. Being a novice, the force applied to the throw was far more than required. It landed up on the tiled roof. Mystery of the lost newspaper got solved.

 

We would definitely find a way to recover it and most definitely read it. Should we? I wonder!!!!!!!!!

 

JAI HIND

© NOEL ELLIS