MODIFICATIONS GALORE

 MODIFICATIONS GALORE

 

LT COL NOEL ELLIS

 

06/IV/2022

 

Per force one was flicking news channels to find out whether internet services would be restored in Jodhpur today or not. Here, it has been ‘blacked out’ due to the recent riots. Not that one has missed ‘great wisdom’ which is doled out to all and sundry by ‘Social Media Industry’, but more because there are so many ‘online transactions’ to be done.

 

We met a man going around the colony yesterday. One asked, ‘Bijli ka bill wala’, as this month we are expecting the meter reading to soar due to high usage in the heat wave. He was the newspaper wala distributing bills.

 

150 bucks sir and he insisted we pay ‘online’. ‘Net to band hai’, I said. ‘On’ hone ke baad he payment hoga’, I said. He smiled and moved on.  Let me confess, we started the newspaper after almost two years since ‘Ms Corona’ swept across. Newspapers are considered to be safe these days, unless the ‘paper boy’ has a cough, cold or runny nose, who knows.

 

Before we are up, the paperboy ‘chucks’ newspapers. Invariably it lands under the car. One has made a ‘jugad’ for it, a stick. It becomes easier to extract it from beneath the car as the paper comes rolled up.

 

It is so peaceful to hold that paper in your hands. In absolute silence, one can ‘read or skip’ whatever catches ones eye. Time spent on ‘the throne’ has increased. That is the place one can concentrate on the fine print. Paperwala’s smile was asking me, don’t you read them online? I just grinned and let it be.

 

Be that as it may. Newspaper was in my wife’s hand this morning, so I switched on the TV to ‘decipher’ news from the ‘noise’. On most channels, bombardment of ‘high calibre’ arguments makes you feel like one is amidst the war zone. One news that was different from the usual caught my attention.

 

It was about a new ‘Jugad’. People in Delhi were converting their scooters and bikes to EVs, the latest fad. ‘Congratulations India’. If winter comes, can spring be far behind? A new machine comes and its Jugad can’t be far behind in India.

 

Sadly, the number plate would remain white and black instead of ‘green’. These are not RTO approved alterations. Mr Gadkari ji are you listening. If we are promoting ‘Make in India’ why can’t these modifications be certified? Why can’t fool proof kits be made in India? Why can’t batteries be made here instead of being illegally imported from China, as the reporter said. Do we lack talent?

 

Cost of an OEM scooter is Rs 80,000 upwards. ‘Jugad’ costs between 10-15 thousand. In Delhi it should be made compulsory as two-wheelers are a major factor adding to pollution. Moreover, ‘Ms Bijli’ is free in Delhi. People still run cars on domestic LPG.

 

The Electronic market near Red fort has seen sales of ‘electric heaters’ go up drastically. Reason is people who cannot afford ‘induction cookers’ buy a ceramic plate with a ‘heater coil’. There are twists and turns on that plate like a ‘human brain’. The coil fits in snugly. No need of free cooking gas cylinder when rotis can be ‘sekod’ better on this modified stove.

 

Heater coils can also warm a bucket of water in thirty seconds flat. We did so in our ‘bachelor days’ when there used to be five ‘Afrasan-e-Hind’ in one room in Jaisalmer. Everyone had to have a bath after a gruelling PT with ‘bada boots’, have breakfast and reach the training area before time.

 

Thanks to OEM for water heating coils, ‘Havildar Anandappa’ of ‘Satrah Mech, Har Maidan Fateh’. The only safety warning he gave us was sir, do not put your finger in the bucket to check the temperature of water or else your body temperature will drop to the equivalent of a corpse. ‘Wilco’ and we complied with his advice. The only courtesy we extended to fellow roomy’s was, we would fill the bucket for who came in next.

 

We are a land of modifications. If one has had the privilege of visiting a flea market in a big town, there is nothing on earth which does not have a duplicate or a modification. I shall not talk of the Punjabi ‘Maruta’, the younger brother of ‘Maruti ne Susuki’.

 

Now there is ‘Heroine Hondi’, sister of ‘Hero Honda’, ‘Yamini-ha’ etc which are used for tilling with the ‘Hal replacing its rear wheel. Motorcycles being yoked to carts, used for spraying fertilizers & pesticides, running around in circles of a ‘Persian wheel’ to draw water or extract oil et al.

 

These are little things the government needs to take note of. Will this stop us from making more Jugads? The Government should wonder!!!!!!!!!!

 

JAI HIND

© NOEL ELLIS