GRASSHOPPERs STORY

GRASSHOPPERs STORY

LT COL NOEL ELLIS

24/IX/2023

These days Bulbuls, Sparrows & Doves are not seen frequenting our grain feeders. I am not sure why. Hope we have not offended them.

Frequency of refilling the grain bowl has reduced drastically. Though Bajra has been harvested, the birds should return. Maybe, many households have started hanging bird feeders. Insects too have bred aplenty, thus birds are enjoying ‘fast moving food’, instead of traditional ‘porridge’.

All birds are not insectivorous but If they are in dire straits, they can switch diets. Like we in India have umpteen combinations of “maukatarians”. ‘Egg dekh sakte hai par touch nahi kar sakte’. ‘Egg kha to sakte hain par ghar nahi la sakte etc-etc’. Cake main chalta hai but….I am not getting to the chicken and its gravy eating people. (Pun Intended)

What caught my attention was a Grasshopper in the grain bowl. “Hello mister, what are you doing in here,” Have you turned into a “grainytarian”. Hop away, before Ms ‘Shikara’ makes you a snack”. That reminded me that I had a grudge to sort out with Mr Hopper.

“I am warning you Mr Hopper, please leave my lemon plant alone”. “The speed at which you are munching its leaves has left it looking bald and ugly”. If you do not change your diet preference, you will run out of leaves and I will lose a plant. Don’t act like kids who can eat just Maggi all day”.

Mr Hopper apologetically said that he jumped into this bowl as a cat passing by startled it. She ruffled the leaves. I said my last prayers before she almost ate me. Then she sprayed and the stink of her perfume made me jettison high”. “I have seen cats eat grasshoppers, be careful”, I cautioned him.

“What about the birds”? I said. They would love to munch on you. Mr Hopper gave me a wry smile. I have a ‘cease fire’ agreement with the birds. They know that I can do no harm”. Then he fidgeted 180 degrees in the bowl and what I saw was unbelievable.

“Did you notice that I don’t have one leg”? I nodded in affirmative. “How did you lose it? Are you a battle causality”, I asked? “That’s a long story”, he said. “Tell me, I am all ears”.

“It was a bright sunny day after the July rains. I was young and carefree. Hopping from bush to bush, creeper to plant. My coat was lighter than what it is today. I had your garden to explore. I would sample leaves from plant to plant and finally homed on to the most nutritious and tasty leaves of your lemon bush. It gave me security, food and a home. I started spending most of the time here”.

“Continue”, I said. “One day you were hoeing that pot. I got scared and leaped to safety. A branch came in my way, which knocked me cold and I fell in that pot. As you hoed, you cut my leg”. “I am sorry, I never noticed you there”. Don’t you guys regrow your hind legs” I asked? “No”, he said.

“Then with that leg still half dangling, I changed my perch. A bird came and was about to eat me as I chirped in pain. I requested the bird to spare my life and take my leg instead”. “Which bird was it”? “The same one with a red bum, who keeps eating roti all the time”.

“Ms Bulbul you mean”. “I also requested her to spread the word that now that I have donated my leg, they should be kind to me. They all agreed and even told me that whenever there is danger you hop into this bowl and you shall be safe”. Now that you have warned me of the Hawk, I shall keep a lookout”. The whole picture started to play like a movie to me.

“Now I am old and would soon die, I would like to introduce to you my cousins who are actually eating much more than what I do. We have hoppers from Greenland. Green as green can be. Then we have the darker shades like you. There are browns and blacks in all shapes and sizes. They just love your garden.

“How can I help you”, I asked Mr Grasshopper, feeling pity and sorry for what I did? He twitched his tentacles to say ‘yes’. Kindly leave me to the lemon bush, as now when I jump, I get disbalanced and disoriented. Instead of going left, I go right. The leap sans one leg makes me go haywire.

I picked Mr Hopper in a pinch and placed him on a lemon leaf. He stretched his intact leg, as if to say thank you. “Goodbye Mr Hopper, see you tomorrow”. Will he heed to my request? I wonder!!!!!!!