SHAVING

 

Some of my classmates in Sainik School had started shaving quite early. Before moving for breakfast and the school assembly, our turnout and nails were checked in real earnest by the housemasters, shave was not one of them.

 

There used to be a rumour then that if you trimmed your beard, it would grow very fast. “Look innocent,” we would say, and request the barber to use only a trimmer rather than a razor and leave some beard. A few of our classmates had no beard at all, while some had grey hair from a very early age.

 

Be that as it may, we reached NDA and life turned upside down. The day you hadn’t shaved, you were on the drill square for extra drill and drills far beyond your imagination.

 

While in the NDA Wing, I used to generally be the early one in the washroom. There were not many things in hand besides a toothbrush, a tube of toothpaste, a razor and a ‘coochi’, or shaving brush. The shaving foam used to come in a container that looked like a boot-polish tin. If you were running out of time, brushing your teeth could be skipped, but not the shave.

 

The evening prior, cabin control stores, like the pack of razor blades, were checked. If the blade needed changing, it was done before one went to bed. If not, disaster could strike.

 

Now, you had no choice but to shave. The morning stubble could be detected by a blind man. Drill ustads had eyes everywhere, like hawks, so escaping those sharp eyes was impossible.

 

After six months, we came to NDA Main, now with the ‘II’ second-term badge on our collars. Here, anyone and everyone could check you for indiscipline. You couldn’t escape the sharp eyes of your divisional seniors. You came down for the Morning Muster, and there we had our own squadron corporals and sergeants. You had to be extremely lucky to give them a ditch.

 

Sometimes, you ran to the bicycle repairman for a quick refill of air in the tubes. He could also tell you, very politely, to go back and shave properly. Then came the plethora of appointments at the Academy. They would scan you like an X-ray scanner.

 

The drill ustads and some PT ustads were ruthless. They made sure your elbows and knees bled before you moved out of the drill square.

 

It used to be as simple as that. Take an I-Slip, which you had to carry in sufficient quantity, and the rest was published in the routine orders.

 

We had a course mate called Panchi. God bless his soul. He was one person who did not have to shave. Mind you, there were such cadets who had to shave from the inside too. Just joking, they had too much hair to handle!

 

Panchi used to be called ‘Cheeku’. Faujis will understand what I mean. This name was affiliated with all those who had little or very little hair. Yes, Panchi’s biggest giveaway used to be that one tiny hair on his chin, while the rest was blond fluff. That one hair would give him away.

 

One day, on our way to the ‘Gole Market’, both of us froze in our tracks. An ustad had come and taken his place for Gole Market clearance. Panchi and I did an about-turn and reached his cabin.

 

“Noel, see, for one body hair on my face, I will not invest in a razor,” he said. “Instead, you see, I have a very sharp pair of scissors which will snip that one and only hair that grows. Plus, in case of a doubt, I would stick a Band-Aid, cut exactly into a circle.” He showed me one. “Who knows what is underneath it, a wound or a hair?”

 

“Great Cheetah logic,” I said and moved to my cabin.

 

The episode was forgotten, but the next day we were coming for lunch from the Science Block. Luckily, we had inflated bicycles. Birds of the same feather stuck together, and we quickly got into our squad. The right front chap would call out ‘savdhan chal’. The senior-most would say ‘aram se’ once the ‘enemy’ had gone past.

 

Panchi did a ‘savdhan chal’ at the top of his voice, and just then an ustad said, “Ye squad, halt!”

 

And we halted.

 

The glue of the band aid had given way due to the sweat and heat. Just a small portion of the Band-Aid hung by his chin.

 

“Ye cadet, ye kya namuna bana rakha hai? Shave kyon nahi kiya. I-Slip do aur kal 1.30 par Adjutant saab ke daftar par.”

 

Knowing SLR,  Panchi now got into the circuit of running, EDs, ETs and restrictions like me and also started shaving.

 

Do you have a funny incident related to shaving?

 

I wonder!!!!!!!

 

JAI HIND

©® NOEL ELLIS