EXCEPTIONS ARE ALWAYS THERE

 EXCEPTIONS ARE ALWAYS THERE

 

LT COL NOEL ELLIS

 

20/VI/2022

 

If it is a fauji house everything which can be painted will be painted and everything which can be ‘brassoed’ will be ‘brassoed’ twice. ‘Painting’ would be an annual ritual. Till in service, uniform had to be brassoed every day without fail. Rest of the trophies and decorative pieces once a week for sure. All those who say no, may be exceptions.

 

In case your buddy did not turn up, the feeling inside used to be to take leave for whatever reasons but not to go to office. Time permitting the officer would brasso his accruements and shoes himself, rather much better than the buddy, then show it to him, how it is supposed to be done. Again, if I am wrong, I might be an exception.

 

Fauji knows four colours. Black & white. Black on his steel and wooden trunks he carries from posting to posting. White for the name that he has to print with a stencil cut by ‘intelligence office’. One stencil with his name and one with numerals ‘zero to nine’ which can be used for many years. If I am wrong, I might be an exception.

 

The other two colours are Geru & Choona. You ask any fauji, he will not be able to tell you which shade of red is geru and the same is the case with the white choona. He also doesn’t understand why ‘neel’ is put to amplify the white colour in choona. But he knows as is a ‘standard operating procedure’ when he gets the borders of his brick lined garden painted. To complicate things, he would get them done alternately, one geru and the next choona.

 

He cannot see paint or the geru choona going waste. In case paint is left, he knows, if he carries it to the next station a thick ‘malai’ would form on top of the paint tin. The contents inside will be no good to man or beast. So, he orders his wooden crates also to be painted black. Saab ji, crate ne paint pee leya. What the heck! How can a crate drink paint? What the buddy meant was that the wood has absorbed paint.

 

Saab ji, paint khatam, polish muk gayi, brasso hai-ni, are words which are not found in an officer’s dictionary. These are taboo phrases. He can blurt out the logistic supply chain up to forty kilometres inside enemy territory verbatim. Poor buddy has to listen. Kiven khatam ho gaya. Hune ja CSD ton lai ke aa. CSD band ho gayi panj vaje, fir civil ton lai ke aa. Gaya si saabji par othe v nahi labbi, taan fir apni brasso di shishi le ke aa. If I am wrong, I might be an exception.

 

That day and the next couple of days, the atmosphere at home and in the office would be on fire. Wife in anticipation buys even those masalas which probably were never used but stocks them up just in case the fauji enters the kitchen and takes the inventory.

 

The office people start flagging files with ‘forward & back references’ which they wouldn’t have done in months because they know that a lecture on maintaining files is a result of saabs reaction to polish khatam. It would be cantt news, Saab di Brasso v khatam.

 

The leftover geru-choona never goes to waste. Every tree you can see will be in two colours. You guessed it right. The left-over paint will never be given to someone who may need it. He may go for a second coat of everything black in his house. If it is not black then will make something black but the paint shall not go waste. If I am wrong, I might be an exception.

 

Every officer thinks that he is an Engineer. Even a fauji engineer thinks so. There would be one black trunk full of tools. Even if he stays on the fourth floor, his genti-belcha, fawra, pipe, screwdriver set, plyers, cutters, wrench, paanas of the unheard sizes, drills, assorted nuts bolts, nails, sootli and above all hammers of many sizes would be neatly tucked in. He would have used them not more than once in his lifetime but would be inspected and kept rust free at regular intervals. If I am wrong, I might be an exception.

 

Anything golden will be brassoed. At least give it a try, would be his endeavour. That is what has happened to me. We have a framed set of leaves which one thought were made of brass sheets. In our previous location due to very high humidity, they were turning green at the edges. The day the car and bike logos were polished, so were these frames but their dullness wouldn’t go.

 

It was later that one realised that they are wooden and golden painted. Brasso won’t work. How embarrassing! All these days efforts put in to shine them and litres of that shining liquid went waste. One tried Nimbu, imli ka pani, pitambri and what not but they were losing their sheen. Now that someone told what they are; a 100ml golden colour has been done. They look as fresh as ever.

 

Yes, the left-over paint shall not go to waste. The day the first coat dries up there would be a second coat and then the third. Given a choice I would like to write the names of my plants on the pots in golden colours. The plants have survived one harsh winter and are going through a horrific summer. With all the tools and paints under my command, I want to paint their names in gold.

 

I have a ‘variety’ of brushes, taarpeen ka tel for thinning & washing the brushes besides washing my hands in a bisleri bottle. Earlier Kerosine oil would suffice.

 

Am I wrong or am I an exception? I wonder!!!!!!!!!!

 

JAI HIND

© NOEL ELLIS