HOW I BECAME AN OWL
LT COL NOEL ELLIS
21/VIII/2023
I was recently added to a group “54th Owls”. How yours truly became an ‘owl’ has a story. It actually started with a dislike for all “owlets”.
My unit was an expert in sending officers to Staff College SC. In one year, five officers got nominated for the same course. A record of sorts. Should I or shouldn’t It kept bugging me?
The time came for yours truly to prepare. Imagine, availability of five officers plus worth of study material, one pre-staff and no dearth of guidance and plethora of notes. You name a precis/ATM/SATM, Pre staff notes, ten years question papers were in my study on the first day of my AL for my first chance.
The place & weather was horrible. Hot, humid and no electricity in Lalgarh Jattan. Thank God, one had an emergency light picked up from Leh, which survived max two hours, if it could be charged properly in those power cuts.
I missed the boat in one subject by a few marks in the first attempt. My heart broke. Better luck next time.
Moment, you become a ‘second chancer’, people kind of look down upon you. One day someone told me sarcastically that you ‘cannot’ make it to Staff College ever. The earth slipped under my feet as this came from someone who was not a PSC himself. It hit me hard. I would prepare with a vengeance and I did.
I was on leave with my in-laws the day results were declared. Congratulatory messages started to pour in to tell me that you were in the “Qualified list”. Not nominated mind you. In fauj, you cannot even apply for re-evaluation. I had proved someone wrong, but still missed the SC special train which bugged me.
Mr Murphy was watching me all this while. He added a twist. Got me posted to Assam Rifles, that too in a very active area. I was not sure if the CO would give me leave at all. Some pleading got me two months of annual leave.
One week I had promised to give to my wife exclusively. One week turned to two and two became four and ‘no study’. ‘Fat gayi’ literally as time was running out. Izzat was at stake.
Every precis/booklet I would pick up, it was by heart. Ye bhi ata hai, vo bhi ata hai, ye pad liya, vo poora yaad hai. Even the dreaded Amphibious Operations was rattoed backwards. That year one had to appear in Sri Nagar.
Accommodation was arranged in Sri Nagar Transit camp TC. Three days prior to the exam one reached Jammu TC. The road was blocked near Banihal. We were staged forward to Udhampur the first day. The road didn’t open and we started panicking.
They flew us by air to Srinagar airfield the next evening. No way could we have reached TC Sri Nagar that day. Night halt was at the airfield itself. The most crucial time for preparation.
Next morning, I walked up to the CO of the regiment with a request to provide a vehicle to the Sri Nagar TC. We got one after lunch. The exam was the next day. Mr Shukla, God Bless his soul, updated me about the Naga Hills Bn. One new officer is joining but appearing for SC with you, he said. Both of you have been clubbed together. At last, I could appear the next day.
Before proceeding to BB Cantt to take the exam, I went to the TC Baniya and bought a few five-star chocolates. Muching it soothed my nerves during the exam due to its stick jaw action. Even the invigilating staff would bet on the brand of chocolate I would chew. Regulation Chai-Samosa was not my cup of tea.
I ‘screwed’ the first two exams royally, I thought. Then Lady Diana died in a car crash. To hell with studies, we sat and watched her funeral. Next day was the Tac B exam.
My eyes popped out when I saw a map of the desert. I rubbed my eyes in bewilderment when I saw Laungewala, Sadhewala, and familiar boundary pillars, which I had personally recced day in and day out. Every sar, nal, tar, toba, nadi, talai, r, trig height, survey tree, deployment etc I knew like the back of my hand. There was a specific question on the Recce and Support Battalion. I pumped the air. Yes!
Fifteen minutes before, I finished my exam while all the others were glued to their sheets. That is the time I opened my second five star that day. The invigilators got worried. One walked to my table to inquire if all was well. They would discuss, Ye to sala sure shot Camberley jayega. I didn’t have the heart to tell them, pass ho jaun vo hi bahut hai.
A chopper flew in with casualties and a dead body in the adjacent Helipad. How different was paperwork from ground reality, I said to myself.
Next day a gypsy from our unit took us into action. CO welcomed us. Both of us were given orders to take our companies to the farthest posts the next day at first light.
I had just returned from a patrol after two days in snow and slush chasing militants with no luck. I was about to take off my shoes when the operator brought the radio and said “Tiger” is holding. WTF.
Foxtrot one, report to Bn HQ with half link now. WILCO sir and the transmission was over. It was a three hour walk to the Bn HQ. I radioed the Adjt to give me a whiff. CO is unhappy with your performance, he said. ‘Lag gayi vaat’.
On reaching the Bn HQ we were ushered into the COs makeshift office. Congratulations, both you BCs you have made it to Staff College. The cook had made a special cake in a pressure cooker for us. I couldn’t believe my ears. Choro sir, mazak mat karo, I said. It is true boys, well done, you make the paltan proud.
CO said the result came the day before, but you Bs were on an operation so he didn’t disclose it. Sir, I want permission to go to Sri Nagar TC to speak to my wife. Go next week with the pay convoy, he said. Now get back to your posts immediately. The Adjt and other officers were already waiting to party. Next morning, I gave my OK report of my post in drunken stupor fifty meters from the COs camp.
The result shut the mouth of that moron permanently.
SC was fun, more stories later. Wishing 54th Owls all the best. Hope you guys recall your days too. Are you guys game? I wonder!!!!!!!!
JAI HIND
© ® NOEL ELLIS
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