KISSA KISSY KA
LT COL NOEL ELLIS
11/VIII/2023
This article is in
light humour with malice to none.
In our childhood, one often recited
something like this
Kiss Kiss ko Kiss Karen
Kiss Miss ko Miss Karen
Kiss Miss ko Kiss Karen (Add flying
before the last kiss)
A gesture led to utter chaos when
people had congregated to create more ruckus than a kindergarten school. They
shout, abuse, yell, shriek, cry, call names, ridicule, scream, mimic, jester,
recite poems and Sher-o-shayari, as if they have no other work to do. Rather, they
are paid from our taxes to make a mockery of an august house and the people
they represent.
I didn’t watch the proceedings
live but seems a ‘bawaal’ of sorts was created by a Flying Kiss (FK). Ladies felt
offended. A few men who missed out on the opportunity to send FKs, felt why didn’t
they do it. So they went into rage against a man who probably never blew one to
begin with. Even if he did it, he did it openly and was not caught watching
porn.
Later when I watched the
recording, I swear, I must protest that it was most silly gesture and absolutely
unlike a flying kiss. Kam se kam flying kiss to seekh lo janab. If this is
called a FK, then girls and boys should sit on dharna to teach this bachelor about
FKs.
He instead of throwing the
ball at the wicket keepers end, threw it at the bowling end. Many people got ‘kissed’
out, read it with a P. Earlier, there were hugs and now there were kisses that
too of the flying category. Sir, you got to improve your aim. It cannot be “kahin
pe nigahen kahin pe nishana”.
Friend, I pity your choice
too. If you meant that FK for the chair, then I have an issue and if you sent
it flying towards the ‘most hurt’, then you need to see a doctor. Young man
wake up! There are better places and better people to show your affection to.
Hope you have ‘kissed’ in real life to understand the meaning of an FK.
The ‘flying kisser of the day’
should be charged for being partial. Ladies huddled to complain. They actually meant
to say why wasn’t the FK directed towards them.
One minister would now propose
a new ‘Anti Flying Kiss Bill’. They can bring an ordinance before the session
ends. The speaker would say, all those in favour of this AFK bill may blow an
FK. Believe you me, it would be passed with all hands blowing FKs including the
people opposing it.
All of us remember our ‘first
kiss’. No, your pets are not counted. Once done, then ‘ye dil mange more’ was
the condition. If you couldn’t get a actual one, then an FK meant the real
thing, especially when you were surrounded with people.
Film actors and actresses shower FKs
at a drop of a hat with both their hands. Is it to show love and affection or is
it to show gratitude to their fans? They do it openly. They even return FKs
without getting worked up. Here too there was an ex-actor, deeply engrossed in
a character, discussing serious matters while reading her ‘tutored script’.
These days emojis of hearts, winks 😉 and kisses are showered
on social media blatantly and openly to known and unknown. It becomes an issue
when you send a wink and a wrong emoji with a kiss and red lips gets selected. What
do we do then? Sue him or her, I suppose.
Imagine, if a gesture can convert ‘wiping
of the mouth’ to a flying kiss, then what will pulling out your pants from your
cheeks, when you get up to speak mean.
FK became a non-stop debate on
every Indian news channel. They called him a ‘misogynist’. The Dictionary described
it a person
who “dislikes, despises or is strongly prejudiced against women”. With the ‘man’
in question, it should be the other way round.
The discussion went on to prove him
to be a woman-hater, anti-feminist, male-chauvinist, male-supremacist, a person
who discriminates/hates women. Further, this man was charged with sexism,
bias, bigotry, discrimination, intolerance against women. My foot. I switched channels.
This got me to search ‘types of
kisses’ on google. Friends, you will be surprised that there are more than
fifty ways to kiss but FK doesn’t find a mention. Now, what shall the law
makers do, sue google for missing out on the FK.
I feel all this chaos was created to
divert from the main issue because of Misandry (/mɪsˈændri/) which is the hatred
of, contempt for, or prejudice against men or boys. One in particular. Sir, you better
improve your Flying Kiss standards and choices.
Will this ‘Kissa Kissy Ka’ ever end?
I wonder!!!!!!!!
JAI HIND
© ® NOEL ELLIS
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