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STOP POLLUTING

 

STOP POLLUTING

 

LT COL NOEL ELLIS

10/XI/2023

 

I believe that the Supreme Court of India is going to give a verdict on the pollution levels in Delhi. One order and pollution will be obliterated from India. I wish that magic wand works.

ISI agents from the neighbouring country are actually responsible for all this pollution. They have deployed jumbo air pumps which have changed the direction of trade winds. We all know, they cannot stand our PM, therefore it is all the more prudent for them to use the latest satellite systems built by their own ‘SUPARCO’ (The Na-Pak space agency) to divert smoke and smell towards our capital so that decisions get fudged.

It was on a social media platform stating that a UFO had been spotted in Delhi. The Airforce must have been scrambled; I am not sure if they have war gamed fighting Unidentified Flying Objects. ISRO must have diverted all satellites towards Delhi.

Airforce was unable to take off in zero visibility. ISRO couldn’t take a photo because of thick smog either.

Government declared a holiday, blaming it on toxic air coming from the neighbourhood. ‘PM’ not Modi but ‘Particulate Matter’ does not matter. For a daily wager, it is a square meal, he doesn’t understand AQI.

Reporters from every channel rushed to the general area where that UFO had been spotted. It was alleged by ‘their sources’ from space that Aliens were allergic to the kind of pollution these media guys have been spreading. Out of fear, reporters stayed at a distance. Someone said, celestial creatures were planning to kidnap a reporter just to understand why they spew acrimony.

The ‘chowkidar’ there suddenly became a hero. He was being interviewed by the media as a Hero. Aap ke nazdik UFO aya, aap ko kaisa lag raha hai? He didn’t understand what UFO meant, thanks to the Hindi of an English channel. To which a pure Hindi channel intervened and told him about the ‘Udan Tashtari’. Aap ki kisi se baat hui? Kaise lag rahe the? Kya baat cheet kar rahe the? Aap ko unki khirki ki chamkeeli light dikh rahi thi?

Aap kitne bahadur ho? Hum aap ki bahaduri sarkar aur poore desh ko batayenge. Aap ko ek medal milega. To which that poor man replied, ‘arey bhai vo ‘colony ki pani ki tanki’ hai, aur us ki stair case ki light jal rahi thi. Koi tashtari-phashtari nahi dikihi mujhe. Aap logon ko pradushan ki wajah se galat fahmi hui hai. Channels could not take that news off the air as they were live.

It was time for reporters to cover the next story so they scrambled in smog to the Supreme court. There ‘Your honour’ would finally tell the country how to get rid of pollution in Delhi. As they sped in their vehicles, two of them collided due to poor visibility. Then a spat between them ensued.

Oye, meri gari kyon thoki, dikhta nahi hai kya. Teri gari to yahan thi hi nahi, kahan se a gayi. Teri mother ki and father ki…… One said, tu janta nahi hai mera baap kaun hai, court kachehri ke chakkar katega tu. The guy in the other car realised that this voice was familiar and got out to clear the fog.

Sale tera baap hi hun, late ho raha tha, aaj Delhi pollution ka case laga hai supreme court main, usi ki sunvai ke liye ja raha tha. They both hugged each other and by then two more cars rammed in their cars. I am not sure if the Judge saab is in hospital or court.

Suddenly a child burst a ‘pathaka’. Then a rocket whizzed past.  Judge saab who took note of it. Not that it produced smoke, but it missed him by a whisker. It was judge Saabs grand son. While he was embroiled in the ‘sweet talk’, this naught boy emptied his whisky bottle kept in the car to fire that rocket. The cracker and its pollution were not discussed but Judge saab was annoyed because one his favourite whisky had gone down the drain. He would have to request someone from the forces to replace it. Poor fauji would oblige, as his case of ‘disability pension’ was also due for hearing soon.

‘Paraali’ se bitumen, hydrogen and what not has been the claim of a minister. Are these tall claims or false claims? One matchstick is required to burn a field which allegedly produces the controversial smoke. Someone from the ‘Dankali’ forest, a cousin of the ‘ghost who walks’ even read those smoke signals emanating from the plumes rising from the smog moving towards Delhi. Reading was difficult due to extremely poor visibility.

However, the smoke signals read, ‘STOP POLLUTING THIS EARTH’. Isn’t it ironical? I wonder!!!!!

 

JAI HIND

© ® NOEL ELLIS




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