HOPPER CHOPPER
LT COL NOEL ELLIS
14/VI/2023
As I walked out of the house
this morning the sun was up and quite fiery. The blast of warm air gives that
tingly shiver due to contrasting temperatures between indoors and the outdoors.
The morning walk was called off, giving the devilish sun its due.
Still there was so much to do in
the garden. My attention was drawn to something floating on the surface of the
fish tank. My heart almost sank as I was expecting the unexpected. Amongst the
water lily leaves floated two of my favourite molly fish, a black one and a
chocolate molly. They had moved on their next journey. With a heavy heart I bid
them farewell and buried them in one of the pots.
While I was at the fish tank,
honey bees had started to surround me. The sound of the swarm is intimidating.
Their buzz is quite shrill and a bee sting could be on the cards if they feel
disturbed or something agitates them. However, now one has got used to them,
rather they to my presence. Watering and hoeing have to be done and they do not
bother me any more.
I asked the biggest looking bee
one thing. Why were they drinking so much water from the watering pot, which I
keep for the birds? Besides, they haven’t even spared the bird bath. They all
congregate in large numbers and siphon off a drop each. Imagine their umpteen
rounds. If little drops can form an ocean, stealing drops can dry the pots too.
At mid day one has to refill
water again. Birds look forward to having a dip and sip after they have munched
on seeds in their feeder. With temperatures touching 45 degrees, birds too feel
the heat. One can make out as their beaks are always open, as if they are
panting. This shady patch in the garden offers them some solace from the
scorching sun. They enjoy a dive in the pool to beat the heat.
I let the bees be before harm
could come my way. They were in the majority.
While I was hoeing a familiar
creature caught my attention. It was none other than Mr Hopper. I didn’t call
him ‘grasshopper’ on purpose. There is a reason for that. It was half a
grasshopper. Not literally but metaphorically. One of its hind legs was
missing, so I slit his name in half.
Where did you lose your leg my
dear, I asked? With a sad face he gave me some answers. Last night I played and
played my guitar. My fiancée just didn’t condescend to my demands. I played all
the tunes I knew and, in the bargain, broke my guitar. Obviously, you play
those chirpy sounds with your hind legs. Too much of anything is bad, I said.
Don’t worry, I will grow it back and start playing again.
I thought you broke it in a
pursuit with Mt TikTok the Chameleon. Yes, he is another pain in the you know
where, Mr Hopper replied plaintively. This guy is after our blood. Wherever we
hide this guy finds us and without warning shoots his tongue out. It is so
difficult to wriggle away as his tongue sucks like a vacuum cleaner, Mr Hopper
lamented. I lost the other leg in a brawl sometime back.
As I was looking through my
lens, I told Mr hopper that there are mites on your body. How would you get rid
of them? These parasites suck away our juices said Mr Hopper. Can I help you? I
said. He scoffed trying to scratch his mite on his back with the other
leg. For an experiment I can spray some sanitizer which I use to get rid of
mealy bugs on my hibiscus plants.
Mr Hopper smiled and jumped to
another pot and missed it. Poor chap fell on the floor right at my feet. I told
him to flee, as bulbuls were looking at him as a juicy snack. He smirked and
told me; this is because I am a grasshopper with one leg. I jumped to catch
hold of the bush there but when I applied force and took off, my direction
changed as it was applied in another direction. Reminds me of the song, Kahin
pe nigahen kahin pe nishana……
I chuckled; you are a chopper
with a broken tail rotor which goes into an uncontrolled spin. He jumped again.
This time Mr Hopper vanished. By when will he grow his missing leg? I
wonder!!!!!!!
JAI HIND
© NOEL ELLIS
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