HOPPER CHOPPER

 

HOPPER CHOPPER

 

LT COL NOEL ELLIS

 

14/VI/2023

 

As I walked out of the house this morning the sun was up and quite fiery. The blast of warm air gives that tingly shiver due to contrasting temperatures between indoors and the outdoors. The morning walk was called off, giving the devilish sun its due.

 

Still there was so much to do in the garden. My attention was drawn to something floating on the surface of the fish tank. My heart almost sank as I was expecting the unexpected. Amongst the water lily leaves floated two of my favourite molly fish, a black one and a chocolate molly. They had moved on their next journey. With a heavy heart I bid them farewell and buried them in one of the pots.

 

While I was at the fish tank, honey bees had started to surround me. The sound of the swarm is intimidating. Their buzz is quite shrill and a bee sting could be on the cards if they feel disturbed or something agitates them. However, now one has got used to them, rather they to my presence. Watering and hoeing have to be done and they do not bother me any more.

 

I asked the biggest looking bee one thing. Why were they drinking so much water from the watering pot, which I keep for the birds? Besides, they haven’t even spared the bird bath. They all congregate in large numbers and siphon off a drop each. Imagine their umpteen rounds. If little drops can form an ocean, stealing drops can dry the pots too.

 

At mid day one has to refill water again. Birds look forward to having a dip and sip after they have munched on seeds in their feeder. With temperatures touching 45 degrees, birds too feel the heat. One can make out as their beaks are always open, as if they are panting. This shady patch in the garden offers them some solace from the scorching sun. They enjoy a dive in the pool to beat the heat.

 

I let the bees be before harm could come my way. They were in the majority.

 

While I was hoeing a familiar creature caught my attention. It was none other than Mr Hopper. I didn’t call him ‘grasshopper’ on purpose. There is a reason for that. It was half a grasshopper. Not literally but metaphorically. One of its hind legs was missing, so I slit his name in half.

 

Where did you lose your leg my dear, I asked? With a sad face he gave me some answers. Last night I played and played my guitar. My fiancée just didn’t condescend to my demands. I played all the tunes I knew and, in the bargain, broke my guitar. Obviously, you play those chirpy sounds with your hind legs. Too much of anything is bad, I said. Don’t worry, I will grow it back and start playing again.

 

I thought you broke it in a pursuit with Mt TikTok the Chameleon. Yes, he is another pain in the you know where, Mr Hopper replied plaintively. This guy is after our blood. Wherever we hide this guy finds us and without warning shoots his tongue out. It is so difficult to wriggle away as his tongue sucks like a vacuum cleaner, Mr Hopper lamented. I lost the other leg in a brawl sometime back.

 

As I was looking through my lens, I told Mr hopper that there are mites on your body. How would you get rid of them? These parasites suck away our juices said Mr Hopper. Can I help you? I said. He scoffed trying to scratch his  mite on his back with the other leg. For an experiment I can spray some sanitizer which I use to get rid of mealy bugs on my hibiscus plants.

 

Mr Hopper smiled and jumped to another pot and missed it. Poor chap fell on the floor right at my feet. I told him to flee, as bulbuls were looking at him as a juicy snack. He smirked and told me; this is because I am a grasshopper with one leg. I jumped to catch hold of the bush there but when I applied force and took off, my direction changed as it was applied in another direction. Reminds me of the song, Kahin pe nigahen kahin pe nishana……

 

I chuckled; you are a chopper with a broken tail rotor which goes into an uncontrolled spin. He jumped again. This time Mr Hopper vanished. By when will he grow his missing leg? I wonder!!!!!!!

 

JAI HIND

© NOEL ELLIS