DHAKKAN DHAKKAN

 DHAKKAN DHAKKAN

 

LT COL NOEL ELLIS

 

22/VII/2023

 

Nature has its own way of camouflaging things. Insects blend with the foliage, certain birds, and animals merge with their background. It is a way of avoiding detection.

 

As the rains have set in, rain lilies have erupted. Invariably, a bud pops up first, followed by the leaves. There came a point when only leaves were showing. Where were the flowers?

 

To check, I decided to hoe the pots. As I started to work with my poke, meandering through the lily bulbs, I realised, in between the lilies, a wild grass was growing which looked almost like a lily leaf.

 

I pulled out one. It had a bulb akin to a lily but a little smaller. There actually was more wild grass growing than lilies. If one had not inspected, one would have never found out. That grass was weeded out immediately.

 

The second story is similar. Our daughter has caught on to drinking Lemon Grass tea which we grow at home. A fresh leaf is picked every day for her.

 

My wife mentioned that there is a grass similar in shape, texture, size, and colour in the LemonGrass pot. Twice, she mistook it but when no smell emanated, she understood there was something amiss. This morning I pulled out that wild grass. How well it had blended itself was incredible.

 

Reminded me of an anecdote with my Father-in-Law, God Bless his soul. I was a young Captain posted in Jodhpur. He was a teacher in a Central School, right in the heart of the Cantt. One fine Saturday I got a message, through a school bus driver, that he intends to spend the afternoon with us.

 

Being the Adjutant, I took permission from the 2IC to skip games that day. Those days, there were no mobiles. I assumed that my wife would cook a sumptuous lunch and I was confident that there was enough liquor in the house for both of us to enjoy.

 

As usual, winding up from the Adjutant’s chair is a tough job. I cleared the Dak which was generally done in the evening. All signatures, all orders, SA, Head Clerk all in line, to recheck everything was tied up, so that no ‘Fuck Ups’ intrude in my evening off.

 

SA saab, peechay-peechay mere ghar par agar koi DR dak ya daskhat karane aya to aap subha pittho main milna. Mange Ram Saab just stood there and smiled. Aap be fiqr raho saab, he said.

 

FIL had already reached home. Kya loge papa, I asked him, even before kicking off my DMS boots. I knew he didn’t enjoy beer. Gin chalegi kya? He nodded. I used to keep a Gin bottle in the fridge. We never kept a peg measure at home. An improvised peg measure was the bottle lid. One dhakkan meant a ‘chota’ and two meant a ‘large’. Papa, as I fondly used to address him, Dhakkan-Dhakkan ho jaye. He gave a go ahead.

 

Best of crystal glasses, lime cordial, bitters, pickled onions, unit made soda with extra fizz and some roasted peanuts were enough to start. We clanked our glasses to say ‘cheers’. Both of us were six dhakkans down, when FIL remarked, yaar kuch ho nahi raha. I agreed, because the gin was not showing its effect. Gin dhire-dhire maza deti hai papa, I tried to hide my embarrassment and refilled with another two dhakkan fulls.

 

In the meanwhile, my wife called me to the kitchen and said let’s have lunch. I told her, yaar is ‘gin main dum nahi hai’. She gave that dirty smile.

 

Just to check the efficacy, I took the Gin bottle to the kitchen, poured a dhakkan full and gulped it neat. It tasted like water. To re-check I poured the last remnants and it was confirmed it was water. I rushed out of the kitchen and took away papas glass and apologised. A new bottle was opened and fresh contents poured without any delay.

 

Quickly, we gulped a few dhakkans down. Gin started to take effect. Papa took out his Red & White pack of cigarettes. Our day was made.

 

Someone had polished off the gin and poured water in the bottle. Gin looks exactly like water. My father-in-law and I had been drinking dhakkan after dhakkan of that ‘camouflaged water’. Thereafter, it became our ‘Takia Kalam’. He would say, Noel ‘ho jaye dhakkan-dhakkan’ and we would laugh. Believe you me, I would always check thereafter, whether the contents were pure and not ‘disguised water’.

 

Who could have polished off the gin and swapped it with water, any guesses? I wonder!!!!!!!!

 

JAI HIND

© ® NOEL ELLIS