ABRACADABRA

LT COL NOEL ELLIS

16/V/2025

Once upon a time there was a country called Pakistan. For our story we call it “Pygmy stan”. It separated from India and became too big for its boots. It would fight, create chaos, kill innocents, and become the most innocent person on the other side of Indus, as if it knew, saw, and did nothing.

As time went by, they kept feeling threatened by their huge neighbour and started conspiring with all those whom they could. Finally, they made the “Atom Bamb” and threatened all and sundry, like holding a Katta without any Goli. Their nuclear bluff was called out so many times, but then some besharam people are incorrigible.

Their kingdom started going into bankruptcy and deep debt. Its rulers were corrupt. Still, they made a mighty army who took over governance time and again. They created pygmy fighters who could not tackle the giant called India. Their small and ineffective bows and arrows could not even prick him.

They thought of blowing up this giant with the Bamb they made. That was the only way they thought to tame a country ten times their size and 100 times their economy. The giant decided to regulate a few things which pygmy stan had the privilege to use. The pygmies got jittery and thought of a means to scare this mighty beast and take revenge.

Thus, they invented a phrase equivalent to “Thoko Tali”. Stop their water, thoko Bamb, stop trade, thoko Bamb, fire a missile, thoko Bamb, stop their singers/actors, thoko Bamb and so on. That is how they thought their nuclear Bamb would deter the giant called India. The resultant output of the Bamb scare was “Baba ji Ka thullu”.

In many quarters of Pygmy land, they discussed firing the Atam Bomb like we here in India discuss bursting crackers. Of course, we keep the loudest sounding one for the last, when everyone has exhausted all their crackers. Pygmy stan thinks like that so casually, especially their members of Parliament.

They all are convinced that their Bamb, irrespective of being ‘pau kilo’ or ‘Addha pau’ , would work like a magic wand. One press of a button and the ‘kaddu’ changes to a horse drawn carriage for Cinderella and she would be off for the ball. Prince charming aka India will fall head over heels. Prince would start begging and wooing them. My foot!

In 1971 they were heard saying breakfast in Jaisalmer and Lunch in Jodhpur and so on. It is time to do it the other way round. Bed tea in POK, Breakfast in KPK, Lunch in Baluchistan, Dinner in Sindh and back home after a hectic tour, leaving what is left of Pakistan. It is time to do it. Our direction could be in reverse too, depending on what delicacy we would like to enjoy at which place and when.

Bamb marna for them is like a chaanta/thappar marna. Why? Because they are unpad, gawar & jahil. They do not understand the repercussions and its after effects. The ghoonsa, joota and laat which will follow from our side will make them remember their Nani, who doesn’t recognise them anymore.

One thing is clear that they have an apple which this “Snow White” will never eat. Their end will be like the Queen that turned into a witch because she lived in the fallacy of being the prettiest of them all. She wouldn’t believe the mirror on the wall, to see the truth. The witch refused to accept the reality and actuality of life. She could never find a broom to fly away for peace.

The soldiers she sent to bring her the heart, were so scared to even touch Snow White. They tried their best to become terrorists and militants, which the witch keeps sending across. We bleed, but the fate of that jihadi is six feet down under, when they meet the mighty army of the Republic of India.

My fairy tale may not have a beginning or an end. It might be a mix of so many tales put together. But in the end, it is the ‘snake charmer’ which will have to defang this cobra in our backyard and soon. One fang at a time. In the end, the snake will only sway to the tune of the ‘been’ played by his master. It may raise its hood, hiss & strike but would not be able to bite and then go to rest in its basket.

All's well that ends well. The fairy, the queen, the prince, the giant and even the pygmies could live happily ever after. Water will flow instead of blood; hugs could be exchanged instead of missiles and bambs provided the pygmies understand.

Will our ‘Abracadabra’ work? I wonder!!!!!!!