CHILLED BEER

 

LT COL NOEL ELLIS

 

23/V/2025

 

How do you like to have your drink? Some like it shaken and not stirred, some ‘on the rocks’, some like it ‘neat’, some hide it in coke, some straight for the bottle, and some don’t mind ‘Tharra’. I will not talk about ‘Hooching’. “Alcoholics’ can drink all the above.

 

But what about my birdie friends? Birds can drink water from anywhere. It could be from a river, a pond, a nala, even a drain. Some get used to a homely environment, love to have it from their bar aka an earthen bowl. It is like having a cold drink in this heat.

 

For birds their ‘bar’ is like the ritual of going to fetch water at the village well where they congregate. They gossip, tease, fight, nudge and even shoo each other away. Two to three sips and it is all done. No one wastes it, no one gets drunk and no one minds drinking straight from the same bottle.

 

It was like the younger days when we shared one beer bottle amongst friends. We even shared a “soota” the same way and smoked till our fingers got burnt. Beer was a luxury, but a smoke we could afford.

 

It reminded me of our final camp at IMA Dehradun. A forty-kilometre “josh run”, to finish in the tons river. Me and my buddy, Daju, as I used to call Gurung (God Bless his soul) , decided to take an extra bottle of beer issued at the campfire. This bottle was to be carried in our ‘bara pitthoo’ (pack O-8) over and above the weight we were supposed to carry. A one kg beer bottle was definitely extra weight.

 

We hid it between our blanket and mosquito net. It was to be enjoyed midway. Beer was supposed to give a kick and ease our slog to the finish line.

 

On the signal ‘go’, we ran as if those miles could be finished like a 100m race. Soon we realised that the backpack was getting heavier. Not with the additional weight of beer but the sweat which our blanket and mosquito net were soaking.

 

We started after 'last light' and now it was midnight. The goal at hand was to complete the josh run as we had an LMG (Light Machine Gun) also to be carried between us. By then we forgot that we were carrying that beer bottle. We panted and puffed hard, pushing ourselves with sheer will power. Dawn was breaking. The finish line was insight.

 

Daju used to fondly call me ‘El’. El let us run the last bit hard. Suddenly, fresh adrenalin got pumped in and we sprinted, then fell down with a thud to catch our breath at the finish point. We were on time. Still, there were a few Gentlemen Cadets of the Keren company yet to arrive.

 

El, we will take our bottle to our rooms. I am in no condition to drink, that too with such exhaustion and early in the morning. I couldn’t agree more. So, our secret and foolishness stayed in the pitthoo.

 

A big problem occurred. Daju’s pack was called for a thorough check of its contents. If the instructors found a beer bottle, it would be curtains for him. What do we do now? Without wasting a second, he pulled out the beer bottle and like an expert opened the lid with his teeth.

 

The beer was frothy like hell, half of it flowed out and before the staff came to check, a few of us huddled close by, took huge swigs and buried the empty bottle in the soft sand of the river. The bottle had cost us ten bucks each which could not have been wasted.

 

Beer was allowed once a month in IMA, but had the instructors caught us red handed that time, Daju would have been marched up/relegated or ended up running restrictions. So, we buried the evidence.

 

The second bottle was still in my pack. Finally, we reached the “Ghora line”. Daju fetched a bucket of water and asked me to immerse the bottle in it. He took his cycle and vanished. I hit the sack and slept like a log. Daju woke me up before lunch. I heard the beer bottle cap open.

 

Cheers, he said and handed me that beer bottle which was chilled as ice. Can you guys imagine that feeling? Now I knew, he had gone to Prem Nagar to fetch ice. Both of us sipped the beer nice and slow discussing all that we did and didn’t do during the josh run.

 

It hit us hard. Afterall, half a bottle was sufficient to get a GC ‘tally’. Having laughed and cried, remembering funny moments we decided to hit the sack again.

 

Have you guys done such foolish things in life? I wonder!!!!!!

 

JAI HIND

©® NOEL ELLIS